Monday, June 05, 2006
i remembered once u told me that ever since i've started werking in lollipop, im a changed person. now look what happen. LOOK who's the one who really changed. changed into an ugly green-eyed monster, a fucking competitive bitch, and a prissy princess who thinks that everybody owes u shit.
im trying to tolerate, trying to forget all the stuffs that happened recently. in fact, most of the shits come from u. if not, i bet im still juggling with werk and studies pretty fine. and i prolly wont be in such a screwed up stage right now. first suicide, den suicide again, den to crying during werk whenever u do something dumb or WRONG, and just knowing that u cant win u started using ur tears. i may not be affected by them cos i've seen enough, but ur doting godmother sure is. and when she started talking to me and telling me to da ren you da liang, i cant help but feel really agitated. remember that time u were oh-so-upset that i wasn't talking to u after ur futile attempts to suicide den u got drunk and was sobbing so pathetically across serene while she was trying to talk me into forgiving you? if its not for manjit, i would have just slapped u awake right away. and despite so many of ur ridiculous tantrums and miss princess attitude, u never seemed to get enough.
fuck it aiight, i HAD
ENOUGH. enough of ur craps and knnb shits. i know u're unhappy about me being close friends with ethan, i hate to see this, but its because U CAN'T BE THERE WHEN I NEED U. ESP WHEN PRACTICALLY ALL THE SHITS COME FROM U. and about that u're going to complain i wasn't thr when u needed somebody too as well right?
let me tell u something. u always only tell me things when its necessary, and kept it to ur self if possible. just take ethan fer example, after u think we got a lil too close for comfort and u're afraid i will fall for him, u told me u liked him. now what the fuck? u stil got the cheek to say that u've feelings fer him fer quite some time. and in between u once told me u like edwin and u called adrain or who-ever the fuckin guy's name every single day?
u kept things to urself, its ur problem. don't come pointing fingers and say
im a lousy friend who leaves u when u're in trouble.
and the worse thing is, u're practically finding stuffs to quarrel about
EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN DAY. and den i decided to talk to u and forget abt it, doesn't mean i've totally forgotten clean about it and U CAN START A FUCKING NEW ONE ALL OVER AGAIN.
even if u're in trouble doesnt give u an excuse. yes i can be there, but go think about it, YOU are the one who made me go away. with ur fucked up attitude, who will stay?
enough is enough. and i dun understand why i fuckin help u to bloody cheat in ur hrm test. i cant open the locker, u just fucking be a bitch and send me maoqi's number. and its okay, u still wanted to find quarrel by asking me to look for mila to tell her im not going to the class outing myself. SO TELL ME WHY AM I HELPING U OUT? just because of ur 'if u need help in uccd, call me?' fucking bullshit la!
do u think i will? cos even if i don't know a single shit, u know i wont. i rather flunk it. or the best, not passing it up at all!
thanks man. knowing u is like a once in a lifetime. KNOWING THAT FRIENDS EXIST IN SUCH FORMS TOO.
