Wednesday, November 23, 2005
okay i can finally blog abt what happen ytd.
been srsly lacking of sleep,and i thought i would be able to catch some sleep last night,but guess not.
you don't have to say it out; but its kinda obvious that u're unhappy with me.
and the reasons are obviously more than just one,tho they MAY be linked.
sometimes i feel that i AM really a serious bitch.
im in a dilemma.
i REFUSED to chose; because i just can't do it.
but am i doing the right thing?
somebody told me to follow my heart, and do what i think is right.
yep, im going ahead..but was i a little too insensitive?
sighs.
i know how u feel, but i just don't know why everything hafta be so difficult.
yep, im selfish, im wrong
im right i swear im right i swear i knew it all along.
lol.. okay okay no time fer jokes.
(its vindicated lyrics btw)
i know its lame. -.-''
i don't wish to see u upset.
yet im unable to give it up.
i admit, sometimes i can be so fucking stubborn and bitchy that even when i KNOW something is wrong, but i just don't wanna face it.
cos i know its always about
that.
its not so easy as u think, my conscience is pricking me everytime.
i am mean to u.
BUT I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE THIS WERK OUT!!!!!
fuck this shit.
why does it hafta be me who get stuck in this situation?
im pissed by the fact that im practically forced to choose,
im tired by all the things that are applying pressure to me,
AND IM FUCKING SICK OF THE VOICES WITHIN ME TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.
im sorry fer disappointing you.
i don't mean to hurt you.
i seriously treasure our friendship, and i know u've done alot fer the sake of us too.
maybe im just not good enough a friend?
i mean look what u've done and what u've got in return.
FUCK.even now when im typing all these there are voices in my head arguing with me.
is there really a right or wrong solution to this?
am i really wrong..?
im tired....................
the irony is; despite of all these, i still very grateful that
u're with me all these times.
u're the only one that can help me ferget all the troubles and worries whenever im with u.
just wanna say a big thanks, fer everything.(:
<3
my fingers are sticky from playing with the plasticine.
shan't further dirty the stupid keyboard.
laters.
