angelineee
studying in SP dba and hating it.
extremely lazy.
insecured
maybe a lil too straightforward for her own good.
procrastinates alot.but once again, who doesn't?
have weird fetishes fer guys on the feminine side.
usually sleepy when not sleeping.
loves starry nights.actually, im a night owl.:P
bad at telling lies.
paranoid
loves ben & jerry ice-cream
finds it hard to trust anyone, anymore.
cries pretty easily, but hate tearing infront of others.
has hots fer katherine moennig<3
loves my baby(:

Linked. [w]ynn [j]oanne shii tecksiang tasso jessy eve dreyyy jun nan cxm nicole ghim siew doris andrianna mengching alvin










Designer: !ferris.WHEEL².♥

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feeling terrible.












any attempts to make me cheer up will prolly ended up doing the opposite.
i appreciate all of u'all kind intentions.


ugh a eden i

im hungry im dehydrated and im craving fer ribena.LOL.


yep.so i got 3 days of mc due to my stupid fever.my dad was being a pain in the ass.he sure knows how to make me feel better whenever im at my lowest. was feeling darn pathetic, and i teared at the silliest thing.
LOOK im sick im not asking anyone to treat me a lil nicer but AT LEAST TRY NOT TO MAKE ANYTHING WORSE FER ME CAN?
and wtf.ken's classmate called me a bimbo!
nb! i don't even fucking know her aiight.
bloody slutbag.

hai.i got a freaking sorethroat.only on the second day of my fever.wtf. even the com has something against me. GRRRRRRRR.

*depressed.

woke up and realised that i'm having a high fever.
having disoriented dreams again.lol how come i always dreamt that i'd become stupid whenever i'm having high fever?

wasn't that bad this time la.i've reached 40degrees once and it took a freaking long time fer the temperature to go down.
i've only like been awake fer 2 hours and my temperature already dropped from 39.8 to 37.6.which is pretty fast (:
my head hurts.felt like something pounding real hard in there.:(

Without it all
I'm choking on nothing
It's clear in my head
And I'm screaming for something
Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all

what are friends fer...?
i've no answers fer that. not fer you anyway.
i've nothing to say about you.
tired of guessing, tired of your bloody lies.
im sick of trying to stop u from doing all the brainless stuffs u wanted to do.
go ahead.
u're free now k?

thanks anne fer coming down to accompany me(:


and thanks to that special someone fer cheering me up. :D

okay i'm in class right now and im a lil bit lost.


maybe i shld say very.

dohs.. at least i made it fer the first class! ermmmmmmm. tho i was like late fer 45 mins? i think. LOL. well, at least i came. i'm seriously trying to learn, but i know nuts about HTML.
i doubt i've learn that kinda shit when i was in NYP.
so yep, im lost. very lost. ohh noooo. not a very good sign. project on frontpage is coming up, so i better catch up on it real soon, else i won't be able to contribute much on the project.
don't want to just zuoboh like last time arh..

but did i ever say that i hate project werk? just kinda sucky la. don't ask why. i just don't likeeeee.


i think miss teo huiwen skipped her first few lessons today. so much fer the motivation! boooo.
its okay la, i forgive u. i know u're damn shagged with ur werk and stuffs anyway.
BUT U BETTER GO TO SCH TOMORROW....or else.
:D
i'm not fierce aiight.
SPSS retest is coming up.
and i need you to teach me!!! :/
and my frontpage also kao u liao..so u better come sch.

siannnn.
whatever the teacher's going thru sounds so darn foreign.

"Demolition Lovers"

Hand in mine,
into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you
we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets

I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and
I would drive on to the end with you

A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running

But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
Until the end, until this pool of blood

Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of...I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
But this time, we'll show them
We'll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every...

All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this[x4]

As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms
Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun
And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever.

wah lau eh. can't i ever sleep in peace?
i was thinking that despite its the weekends and i have werk, im going to catch up on my sleep.
and when i was sleeping soundly today, i was rudely awaken by this really terrible stomachache.
WTHHHHH!!!!
now its reaching 7 soon. so i guess i can't go back to sleep. else i won't be able to meet up with yc to go visit wen.
ughhhhhh.

anyways.
i still haven told joey nee abt quitting yet.
prolly tmr.
SIANNNN.why tmr got school? it means that if i don't sleep by 11 tonight, i will not get enuff sleep tmr AGAIN.
and its nearly impossible fer me to rch home BEFORE 11.
zzzzzzzzzz.


i hope everything is back to norm like u've said.(((:



im sleeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.










-nobody's perfect.and i like u just the way u are. je t'aime.<3-

i'm rotting awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
i shld be like, just drag myself outta bed or something.

BUT NO.im rotting infront of my com fer like 3 freakin hours!
fuck.i'm tired,and i wanna go back to sleep.wen msged me and said she wanna meet up fer dinner.and after i washed up, she told me that she finished werk at 8.WTF!!!!!
and i can't go back to sleep after that.

and im waiting fer a stupid pig to come my hse.
ITS ALREADY BEEN ONE HOUR LIAO!!!!
wah lau eh...
lol.i guess im really impatient.i CAN'T even wait fer people when im at my hse.


i think im going to take a short nap or something.
man its freezing cold recently.so nice to snuggle up and sleep lo.:D

tiring day.
okay, IM werking at amk kbox...
buttttttt. it wil most probably be my last day there werking tomorrow.
so yep. thanks fer even thinking about visiting me.

im stil considering whether to quit or not, but the answers are like staring point-blank at me.
am i soooooo weak that i can't even withstand abit of hardship?
that i can't even stand strong?
or what?
seriously, i do enjoy werking at times, but sometimes i just don't have a single clue what is there fer me to do.
kinda makes me feel unwanted.
just being there and getting in the way of others.
and the ah bengs customers there are freaking scary.
its just not me, i don't like talking to people i don't know okay.
not when the first thing u said when u opened ur mouth is 'what's ur number arh?'
WTF.
do i look like im some kinda call-girl or what?
and i think joey had enough of me.

sighs.


wen and anne came over to my blk just now, anne prolly did it outta goodwill to try and help us out, but it turned out to be a waste of her efforts.
im sorry, i know u got problems of ur own and while u're trying to help when u're totally shagged and all u got was the both of us refusing to be serious.
thanks alot, and i'm sorry.



i'm tired.finding another bloody job soon. now the thing is, HOW TO TELL HER?
fuck.
i feel like i'm letting her down somehow.
im pissed with her and her stupid attp today tho.


its time to wake up.
i've been asleep fer a fuckin long time.
BE SERIOUS,or sth.
im just wasting my life away.


din go sch again today.
wenta yc hse and slackeddddddddd.(:
im gonna vow to myself to START going to school from next week onwards.
i have to!!!
no matter how badly i lacked of sleep. no matter of whatever bullshit.

I GOTTA MOTIVATE MYSELF!!!:(
sighs.



waiting fer sunday to come.

okay i can finally blog abt what happen ytd.


been srsly lacking of sleep,and i thought i would be able to catch some sleep last night,but guess not.
you don't have to say it out; but its kinda obvious that u're unhappy with me.
and the reasons are obviously more than just one,tho they MAY be linked.
sometimes i feel that i AM really a serious bitch.


im in a dilemma.
i REFUSED to chose; because i just can't do it.
but am i doing the right thing?
somebody told me to follow my heart, and do what i think is right.
yep, im going ahead..but was i a little too insensitive?

sighs.
i know how u feel, but i just don't know why everything hafta be so difficult.
yep, im selfish, im wrong
im right i swear im right i swear i knew it all along.
lol.. okay okay no time fer jokes.
(its vindicated lyrics btw)
i know its lame. -.-''

i don't wish to see u upset.
yet im unable to give it up.
i admit, sometimes i can be so fucking stubborn and bitchy that even when i KNOW something is wrong, but i just don't wanna face it.
cos i know its always about that.
its not so easy as u think, my conscience is pricking me everytime.
i am mean to u.
BUT I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE THIS WERK OUT!!!!!
fuck this shit.
why does it hafta be me who get stuck in this situation?


im pissed by the fact that im practically forced to choose,
im tired by all the things that are applying pressure to me,
AND IM FUCKING SICK OF THE VOICES WITHIN ME TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.

im sorry fer disappointing you.
i don't mean to hurt you.
i seriously treasure our friendship, and i know u've done alot fer the sake of us too.



maybe im just not good enough a friend?
i mean look what u've done and what u've got in return.



FUCK.
even now when im typing all these there are voices in my head arguing with me.
is there really a right or wrong solution to this?
am i really wrong..?












im tired....................
the irony is; despite of all these, i still very grateful that u're with me all these times.
u're the only one that can help me ferget all the troubles and worries whenever im with u.
just wanna say a big thanks, fer everything.(:
<3

















my fingers are sticky from playing with the plasticine.
shan't further dirty the stupid keyboard.
laters.

my keyboard is temporary screwed. so is my body.
yay. i still can type normally fer the time being.
its 10 frigging am in the morning and im still at home.
think im skipping CD le.
sighs.fuck man...
im VERY TIREDDDDDDDDDDDD...
haven been sleeping much these few days and also not attending sch much.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


think im coming back home super early today and rest.
went back home after i just left house cos of a sudden stomach pain, and i ended up puking.
WTF IS WRONGGG?
feeling weak>>

voiceless. -.-''

i don't know how come i just suddenly lost my voice. i just know when i wake up from a short nap in the transport and i wanted to reply to something chris had said, nth came out.
more like, just a croak.
what sia!


suay.
went to meet yc and gary at tpy after school..
played pool.
i only won once loh. better den nth.:P
and i got scolded by joey fer reaching da werkplace just in time....................
to clock in.:D
lol..and i spent like around 15mins in the toilet changing and tying my hair.
hais..
really feel like quitting.
i don't wanna werk on xmas eve loh!!!
but cfm must werk de.wth..
wo bu yao! i must faster find another job..:(
but come to think of it..i abit bu she de. :/
actually wanted to go fer the interview tmr.but i think i better get enough rest else i can't even werk at night.hais.
and i don't know why i only start coughing really bad at night.



i was wondering if im having some hidden sickness or what.
i realised that i've alot of bruises on my legs.
my skin is super sensitive, and i got quite a bit of blue-blacks too.
but the thing is, i can't remember how i got them.


sleeping til tmr evening.if i can la.

im sick and im dying.



lucky my CD teacher was kind enough to let me go home before lesson finish.
so i reached home before 12.(:



who's to be blamed?
im feeling angry and guilty at the same time.


;ljfsdalkalf;ja;;aglkl;asdjgas.

fucking suay day.

woke up early this morn, and even LEFT my hse early cos i wanna make sure i won't be late fer FOM tutorial.
esp when my tutor is especially particular about punctuality.
SO GUESS WHAT.
i reached dover mrt, on the dot 9am, which i dont even understand why, and fucking took a bus to the nearest bus stop so i don't hafta waste my time walking.
i rushed to the lift, and guess what?
THE FUCKING LIFT BROKE DOWN.
before i enter it tho.
i ended up climbing 6 freaking floors and was about 15-20 minutes late.

SO MUCH FOR TRYING.
thats all the encouragement i ever need man.

after that i got into a tiff with somebody.
if there is something bothering you, why not say it out?
AIYAH.
i just can't be trusted.
im anti-social, i got serious attitude problem...

FUCK LA.MY FATHER IS FREAKING YAKKIN AWAY NEXT TO MY EAR.
IRRITATING.


really not my day.
i went k with anne and wen and i ended VOICELESS AND I CAN'T SING.

NOW ITS MY DAD'S TURN TO GET ON MY NERVES.
SHUDDDDDDDUUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!




no mood to continue alr.
i think somebody must be cursing me really bad else i wont be so suay.
happy now?!?!
HAPPY?

this is really stupid, 2nd post within an hour.



wen!!!!! I WANNA GO KL!
i must be sick.i kinda missed the long road trip.
all the camera-whoring sleeping crapping.
it would be better if there are more people tho.its kinda sian sometimes.
what the hell im contradicting myself again.
feb holidays k!?!?!
any more takers?

i guess that i just wanna quit thinking abt sch or whatever things that are botherting me right now.
heh.

SCHOOL SUCKS.


im still not used to going back to school.
why is my school so fucking far?!?!?!!
failing my spss.
sigh.
MY TUTOR SUCKS!
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
and i just realised to got 2 projects to rush.
SCH JUST BARELY STARTED!!!
erm. fer...2 weeks or 3?
heh.

i just hate school la.
ugh.and i don't know how the hell am i going to do my stupid powerpoint.
JAL;KSJDF;LASJF;LJASGIOWUEROIPJSDLAK;JF;LASVN.




im under serious stress.
so many things in my mind now that its driving me mad.

okay this is something really random that im going to rant about.
i was taking train home and its really damn packed. when everybody was starting to alight at outram, some bunch of stupid people just chose to stand at the door and refused to budge.
what the hell! fucking brainless right? if im a guy i surely shove u to one side before alighting or something.u're not alighting but ALOT OTHERS ARE!
and some stupid woman stepped on my toe with her bloody heels cos she can't stand properly.
if u can't balance properly while wearing heels, HOW ABOUT NOT WEARING ANY?
im wearing sandals wtf.


UGHHHH.
sorry guys if this entry scares u.
i just need to vent something out.

was really a tiring week fer me.


didn't make it to terry's bbq because im too tired.
and i need to catch up on my studies.
don't understand a single thing.
spss test tomorrow and im too tired to be bothered to even revise.
sigh..

i don't understand how can anyone werk and study at the same time.
im only werkin on weekends and its enough to drive me crazy sometimes.
weird thing is, i don't even study during weekends.
maybe its the stupid timing..sleeping in the morn during weekends and sleeping at night during weekdays.


BLEHHHHHHHHH.



-im trying hard to speak,but it always seems like i just can't get it out.-

i think i've mentioned alot of times in this blog that i'd never liked mind games or guessing.


so you're expecting me to guess?
i hit,bull's eye.
and u claimed that i was wrong.
fineee.
so now its getting a lil too out of hand to tidy up this mess.


you should have told me earlier.
whats the point of pretending?it wouldn't help u in anyway!
i really find it hard to decipher what's going thru your mind.

i guessed u prolly hate me.
i even felt guilty since the first W incident.
so i won't blame u.

it was a fuckanathing suay day fer everyone yesterday.

i think from ytd onwards, i lost a friend.



went to k-ster with wen yc lim weilong and rae.
my main aim to go there is to get drunk.
and yep, i did.
and practically so were the others.
i can say it didn't really went well.

i think some people are keeping stuffs to themselves.
i don't know what to say la.
i can't force her to say out and i couldn't do anything at all.i don't even know whats wrong!

brushing that aside,at the end of the ktv session, wei long and wen found their handphones missing.
we checked everybody, and we suspected that the working staffs took them.
rae left earlier because he needs to meet up with his girlfriend.
his hurry to left kinda made him look suspicious.
so yea, they went to the police station to make a report and told the police they suspected its him.
i really don't know what to think.
im not the ones who lost their handphones, and im not the one wrongly accused.
its fucking hard to try and put myself in their shoes.i only ended up contradicting myself.

to make things worse, ray called a lawyer.
in short, he might be sueing them 2 or something.
JUST FOR 2 FUCKING HANDPHONES!
nnb.
no, im not saying anyone is at fault.
i just see no point for making such a big hoo-ha over 2 handphones right.
everybody is just overreacting!!!!

i can't believe this is happening.
at the moment of folly everybody's just doing whatever they feel like doing without thinking of the consequences.
tell me, is that drunken stupor or what?


i'd never dreamt that this stupid outing i've organised would end up totally screwed.

this is seriously the first time in my life where i met somebody and the only thing we ended up doing, whether i/we like it or not, is bickering.


AND I DON'T LIKE THAT.


is it so difficult to talk to me a lil bit more nicely?
we can't even differentiate the difference in JUST KIDDING ha-ha kinda sarcasm or being down right sarcastic.


it kinda hurts, you know.
im just trying to be nice.




nvm.


this time i wasn't sure if im just being too oversensitive.
cos it sure feels like you're picking on me.



...
its okay.if u think that makes u happy, go ahead.

worn out.















Drowning past regrets
In tea and cigarettes
But I can’t seem to forget
When you came along....






i just don't know what to do.

everytime whenever im upset, i have this tendency to do something....that i don't usually do.

kay lets hope im not going to regret what im going to do this time.

im sorry fer spoiling u guy's mood.

im sorry fer messing everything up.

maybe i shouldn't oppose to what u've said in the first place.

i know i shouldn't be so sensitive when people are just trying to joke.


im sorry for being upset.

went down to MS ytd with wen and anne.i managed to physco yc to come along..:D
and i DID NOT USE BLACKMAIL nor anything..

okay but i got something to confess.i cheated while flipping coins.
LOL!!!


it didn't start off well, practically everybody's like breathing down on everybody's neck(or so it seems to me) and yc is like trying to be the middle-man.

as usual,its always liquor that made us loosen up.
rush suck,basically.
and i didn't bring my IC so it took quite a long time fer me to get in.
and NO FREE FLOW! because its public hols eve.
zzzzzzzzzzzzz
i suggested trying others,we were bored to death in rush anyway.
actually intended to go black but we stil gotta take cab and all..very troublesome.
so we just went to the next bar,phunk bar or something.

i dunnoe about the rest, tho my stomach wasn't being very obedient that night, i think i didn't really drink much.
anne called her friends over too..played finger guessing game with terry and he just suck at it.LOL!
one of anne's friend was totally fucked.anne told me he was like lying on the floor and puking all over his hair and clothes.=/
YC looks like he was going to passed out or something.LOL..

so we ended up sending YC home..
god i din realise its such a chore taking care of ppl.haha..
think i shall not go into details arh..lololol.


oh yeps..alvin from kbox asked if we are free on next friday? its his bday he's holding a party or some celebration in some ktv pub..